SOS

I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS I WANT TO CRAWL INTO A HOLE AND NEVER COME BACK OUT THIS IS TOO HARD

the boards are looming and new material is coming at me even faster than before and my mother thinks we don’t talk enough and my friends never see me and all my boyfriend and I do together is study BAkjaisefqhwefaoief efas

Ask me if I’ve called my mother.
Ask me if I miss you.
Ask me if I haven’t showered in five days.
Ask me if I’m still wearing your dirty clothes.
Ask me whether I’ve brushed my hair.
Ask me if the kitchen cabinets have been touched in weeks.
Ask me about the dust.
Ask me about the phone calls.
Ask me about the 5AM drunk and the way I’ve been standing in the dark, letting the shadows hug my hips because your hands are gone.
Ask me to come back.
Ask me why the long silences make it feel like there’s a river in my stomach.
Ask me if it will swallow me whole.
Ask me if I want your mouth back.
Ask me if I want my tongue back.
Ask me if I miss you.
Ask me if I’ve ate.
Ask me if God exists inside of me anymore.
Ask me where the music is.
Ask me where the symphony is.
Tell me where you are.
And then ask me if I miss you.
--Azra.T “Lipstick Poem” (via 5000letters)
I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone.
--Dan Howell  (via tellmefive)

(Source: phanjam)

It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days…Lightly, lightly—it’s the best advice ever given me. So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly, my darling.
--Aldous Huxley (via wordsthat-speak)

Flannel shirt on the subway,
I love you.
Bodyguard arms, hands
clasped below the bellybutton.
Who are you protecting?

From across the train, I love you.
And maybe I can’t remember your
face, but I remember your clothes.

I remember the girl waiting for
you at the station and how your
body uncoiled at the sight of her.

I remember the slouch of your back once she touched you.


From the other end of Brooklyn,
I love you. Could have loved you.

Not as a stranger on the train,
not as a pair of eyes looking
too long, blinking.

Heart beating too fast
and screaming
not mine not mine not mine.


In another world, I am the dream on
the platform, one foot on the yellow
line, waiting for your walk.

I kiss the rigid out of you.

I take your name out from under
my tongue and hand it to you.

--Caitlyn Siehl, Subway (via alonesomes)
She buried her ears into the calm of his heartbeat, and in a matter of seconds: fell terribly in love with the way her loneliness fell softly and suddenly, asleep, in his chest.
--Christopher Poindexter  (via petrichour)

(Source: pureblyss)

If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph.
--

Unknown (via thexpotent)

This hit me harder than I expected.

(via isarian450)

(Source: foreverthecuriousone)

American medicine is the best in the world when it comes to providing high-tech care. If you have an esoteric disease, you want to be in the United States. God forbid you have Ebola, our academic medical centers are second to none. But if you have run-of-the-mill chronic diseases like congestive heart failure or diabetes, the system is not designed to find you the best possible care. And that’s what has to change.
--

Dr. Sandeep Jauhar

Dr. Jauhar’s book is called Doctored: The Disillusionment of An American Physician

(via nprfreshair)

Lol he teaches at my school what

Are you quiet when you need to be loved? Or do you raise your voice into a lion’s roar? Will you nudge yourself into my hips? Will you bite my shoulders and say ‘I need you to love me harder today’? Are you softer in the mornings? Which side of the bed do you like to take? Do you sprawl yourself out and steal the covers? Do you sleep naked? Do you take your coffee black? In the summer, do you flip the pillow and sigh when your cheek touches the cold side? Do you keep the windows open at night? If so, how? Aren’t you scared of monsters? Do you know that I’m scared of everything that lives in the dark? Are you aware that sometimes I get so nervous I forget how to move my feet? Can you be patient? Can you be gentle? Do you know how? Is there a quiet war raging inside of you? When you curl your fists and raise your chin, are you donning your armour? Can I help? Can I fight all of your demons with you? I won’t shy away from them, not if it would make you happy. Do you know that I’d stand in the dark in an empty room for you? Do you know that I trust you’d never ask that of me? Do you know that I don’t flinch when you cup my face? Even though if you so much as twitched too hard you could break me? Isn’t this what trust looks like? Isn’t it how I am always skin and emotions for you? Isn’t it saying ‘I love you more today than I did yesterday, but it was a whole lot yesterday’? Listen, do you feel safest when you’re holding yourself together? Do you think someday you can let that go? Will you let me take the pieces of you and keep them close? Can you let me love you? Will you learn how to? It doesn’t matter, I’ll wait.
--Azra.T “34 Questions”  (via 5000letters)
theme